This was so beautiful! I so appreciated your ability to be so transparent and use very personal situations to help the readers understand the message. It really helped to bring it home to the heart! Thank you so much! 😊
I was a little vulnerable sharing those personal situations, but I felt they were important because these lessons are rarely learned from theory alone. We understand them differently when we can recognise ourselves in the experience.
I'm really glad that bringing those moments into the piece helped the message reach you on a more personal level. Thank you for reading it with such openness. 💛
Great article , brings up so many interesting and important points and perspectives. I find if I can manage not to take what they say personally (and yes that can be difficult) and just hear the words I can understand it’s about something more and not a personal attack. That foundation keeps me rooted in words not blame .
I really like how you described staying rooted in the words rather than the blame. That feels like such an important distinction. It doesn't mean we agree with everything that's said, but it gives us the chance to hear what's underneath before we react.
And you're right, that isn't always easy. Taking things personally is such a natural response at times. But when we can pause long enough to recognise that someone's words are often carrying their own fears, frustrations, or experiences, it creates a little more space for understanding.
I really appreciated your perspective. Thank you for adding it to the conversation. 🧡
The space between reaction and response is often where understanding begins. I especially appreciated the honesty with which you showed how easily concern can be mistaken for criticism. A thoughtful reflection, Alexandra.
Thank you - I really appreciate how you captured that.
That space between reaction and response is where so much changes. It's often only a few seconds, but it can completely alter the direction of a conversation.
And I'm glad you noticed that part about concern being mistaken for criticism. I think it happens more often than we realise, especially when emotions are already involved. Sometimes the intention is care, but it isn't received that way.
Thank you for reading it so thoughtfully and for sharing such a meaningful reflection. 💛
I wanted it to feel less like advice and more like an invitation to pause and observe our own experience. Sometimes simply creating that space is enough for something to shift.
I'm really glad the reflective approach resonated with you. Thank you for taking the time to read it and share your thoughts. 💛
We rarely meet another person as they are. We meet each other with memories, emotions, assumptions, past hurts, and the images we have formed of one another. And the other person meets us in much the same way.
So when something is said, we are rarely responding only to those words. We are responding to everything that stands behind them in our own mind.
That is why the gap you mention is so important. But to remain in that gap asks a great deal of us. It asks whether, for a moment, we can stop protecting the image we have of ourselves. If someone says something hurtful and I can simply wait and observe without rushing to defend myself, then I have not only noticed the gap, I have also stepped away from the need for self-preservation, self-approval, and the approval of others.
I really like what you said about not meeting people as they are, but through the memories, assumptions, and experiences we carry. That alone explains so much about why conversations can become so complicated.
And your point about the gap asking us to loosen our grip on the image we have of ourselves really stayed with me. I hadn't thought about it in quite that way, but it feels true. Often it's not just the words we're reacting to, but the part of us that feels the need to defend an identity we've built.
That kind of pause isn't easy, but when we manage it, something shifts. We create the possibility of understanding instead of simply protecting ourselves.
Thank you for adding such a meaningful perspective to the conversation. 💛
Beautifully written. You took the time for self-introspection and the desire to learn more about yourself. At work, it is more challenging communicating with who are often times insufferable co-workers.
Though both parties in a social setting are best served to agree that mutual respect was waylaid even if momentarily.
Though it is healthy to be in the moment and authentic, it helps to recognize the larger dynamic of consideration of each other in conversation.
I agree with you - it can be much harder to put these ideas into practice in environments where emotions are already running high, especially at work. Those situations often test us in ways that quieter moments never do.
I also appreciated what you said about mutual respect. Even when conversations become difficult, recognising that something has shifted and choosing to restore respect rather than escalate the situation can make all the difference.
None of us respond perfectly every time, but becoming more aware of the larger dynamic, as you described, gives us a much better chance of responding with intention rather than simply reacting.
I wanted to let you know I included your post in my weekly roundup! I hope it blesses you! Here is the link if you’d like to check it out: https://fiztrainer.substack.com/p/what-stayed-with-me-week-of-august-945
This was so beautiful! I so appreciated your ability to be so transparent and use very personal situations to help the readers understand the message. It really helped to bring it home to the heart! Thank you so much! 😊
That means a lot to me. 😊
I was a little vulnerable sharing those personal situations, but I felt they were important because these lessons are rarely learned from theory alone. We understand them differently when we can recognise ourselves in the experience.
I'm really glad that bringing those moments into the piece helped the message reach you on a more personal level. Thank you for reading it with such openness. 💛
I understand that but your sharing of those experiences really made the post so relatable! I truly appreciated it! ❤️
Great article , brings up so many interesting and important points and perspectives. I find if I can manage not to take what they say personally (and yes that can be difficult) and just hear the words I can understand it’s about something more and not a personal attack. That foundation keeps me rooted in words not blame .
Therefore my reaction is less of an attack 🧡
Thank you so much.
I really like how you described staying rooted in the words rather than the blame. That feels like such an important distinction. It doesn't mean we agree with everything that's said, but it gives us the chance to hear what's underneath before we react.
And you're right, that isn't always easy. Taking things personally is such a natural response at times. But when we can pause long enough to recognise that someone's words are often carrying their own fears, frustrations, or experiences, it creates a little more space for understanding.
I really appreciated your perspective. Thank you for adding it to the conversation. 🧡
The space between reaction and response is often where understanding begins. I especially appreciated the honesty with which you showed how easily concern can be mistaken for criticism. A thoughtful reflection, Alexandra.
Thank you - I really appreciate how you captured that.
That space between reaction and response is where so much changes. It's often only a few seconds, but it can completely alter the direction of a conversation.
And I'm glad you noticed that part about concern being mistaken for criticism. I think it happens more often than we realise, especially when emotions are already involved. Sometimes the intention is care, but it isn't received that way.
Thank you for reading it so thoughtfully and for sharing such a meaningful reflection. 💛
This is a very thoughtful and meditative piece. I like the approach you're trying to put forward here.
Thank you - I really appreciate that.
I wanted it to feel less like advice and more like an invitation to pause and observe our own experience. Sometimes simply creating that space is enough for something to shift.
I'm really glad the reflective approach resonated with you. Thank you for taking the time to read it and share your thoughts. 💛
Nice post. Honest introspection.
We rarely meet another person as they are. We meet each other with memories, emotions, assumptions, past hurts, and the images we have formed of one another. And the other person meets us in much the same way.
So when something is said, we are rarely responding only to those words. We are responding to everything that stands behind them in our own mind.
That is why the gap you mention is so important. But to remain in that gap asks a great deal of us. It asks whether, for a moment, we can stop protecting the image we have of ourselves. If someone says something hurtful and I can simply wait and observe without rushing to defend myself, then I have not only noticed the gap, I have also stepped away from the need for self-preservation, self-approval, and the approval of others.
I’m glad my thoughts spoke to you. 😊 Thank you for the opportunity, and for taking the time to listen.
Thank you for such a thoughtful reflection.
I really like what you said about not meeting people as they are, but through the memories, assumptions, and experiences we carry. That alone explains so much about why conversations can become so complicated.
And your point about the gap asking us to loosen our grip on the image we have of ourselves really stayed with me. I hadn't thought about it in quite that way, but it feels true. Often it's not just the words we're reacting to, but the part of us that feels the need to defend an identity we've built.
That kind of pause isn't easy, but when we manage it, something shifts. We create the possibility of understanding instead of simply protecting ourselves.
Thank you for adding such a meaningful perspective to the conversation. 💛
"The way you look at life defines your life." (La manera en que miras la vida define tu vida).Nice Saturday. Welcome August Alexandra
What a beautiful quote. I completely agree - the way we choose to see our experiences often shapes how we live them.
Thank you for sharing it, and for your kind wishes.
Wishing you a wonderful August too. I hope it brings you many meaningful moments and plenty of reasons to smile. Happy Saturday! 🌿💛
Beautifully written. You took the time for self-introspection and the desire to learn more about yourself. At work, it is more challenging communicating with who are often times insufferable co-workers.
Though both parties in a social setting are best served to agree that mutual respect was waylaid even if momentarily.
Though it is healthy to be in the moment and authentic, it helps to recognize the larger dynamic of consideration of each other in conversation.
Thank you for such a thoughtful reflection.
I agree with you - it can be much harder to put these ideas into practice in environments where emotions are already running high, especially at work. Those situations often test us in ways that quieter moments never do.
I also appreciated what you said about mutual respect. Even when conversations become difficult, recognising that something has shifted and choosing to restore respect rather than escalate the situation can make all the difference.
None of us respond perfectly every time, but becoming more aware of the larger dynamic, as you described, gives us a much better chance of responding with intention rather than simply reacting.
Thank you for adding such a balanced perspective.
I appreciate your kind sentiment. I have found that patience is my most important attribute in life. It always guides me to fulfillment and peace.
You are right. When I use it I realise how useful can it be.
love this
Thank you 🙏